


Making the best of the worst day kind of night

by Findtheroot



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:19:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Findtheroot/pseuds/Findtheroot
Summary: She never knew that Maggie Sawyer had not changed her emergency contacts. She never imagined that after all these years following the breakup she would still be the one that Maggie wanted handling all these particulars. Yet here she was. Picking out a casket, looking at steel vaults and consoling grieving colleagues who felt guilty for not doing more on the scene at Maggie’s shooting.





	Making the best of the worst day kind of night

**Author's Note:**

> Major death so don't read. I lost someone really close to me today and this just rolled out. I'm sorry that I haven't updated my other story.

She insisted on holding the shovel and digging the hole, even though the two sweaty, smelly men had already been paid nearly $300 for the job. It was the principle of the moment and she was a stubborn bull that would not be stopped. She had to do this.  
After going hard at it for about two feet, she succumbs to the exhaustion and relented to the men and their synchronized work of having done this for the last five years. She looks up to the sky and the burning sun peaking through the trees this early Monday morning.  
Wiping the sweat from her brow, she watches the quick work the men make of the grave and she swallows the emotion of the moment. Never one to show weakness, she pulls her sunglasses close over her eyes and nods at the progress. She walks down the hill and pulls a cigarette from the pack she bought in the corner store at 4 a.m. two days ago, only moments after she got into town following the call she thought no one should receive.   
She never knew that Maggie Sawyer had not changed her emergency contacts. She never imagined that after all these years following the breakup she would still be the one that Maggie wanted handling all these particulars. Yet here she was. Picking out a casket, looking at steel vaults and consoling grieving colleagues who felt guilty for not doing more on the scene at Maggie’s shooting.  
Alex was tired.  
She called home. It was the right thing to do she surmised. To check on her wife, daughter, and son.   
She had been happy. She was homesick to hold those she loved close. But she was running now. Her head was spinning. She was confused. She needed a buzz.  
Thinking of the sweet draw of scotch that she had left alone for the last six years, she imagined Maggie’s whiskey sipping lips when their skin burned for each other. It was love.  
Alex ended up at the corner liquor store from her hotel with two bottles of regrets. She laughed and knew this would be the one time to indulge.  
But the fear of her sobriety pounded in her head and the faces of her family flashed like a movie before her eyes. She needed tonight. She needed to relive those moments when they weren’t fighting and the regrets that always encased their encounters. Separately, they always overthought any shared moment.  
Months turned into a couple years and it ended with Maggie moving back to Gotham after their split over having children. The lucrative offer too much to pass up when the department wanted a lieutenant to lead their Science Division. They wanted Maggie specifically and she accedes. She knew it would get her away from Alex and the new roots Alex was making that would have eventually broken Maggie.  
“She was something else, that Maggie Sawyer,” the gruff voice said behind her as she walked into the foyer of the funeral home hosting Maggie’s viewing. “She loved you more than this life that she hated here with us. But she stayed to make a difference because she knew she would do you no good. Though she did keep tabs. And you were happy. Without her.”  
Alex punched straight through a plate glass window. Her hand bleeding, she stalked toward the car she had rented and shaking she grabbed the bottle of whiskey, downing half in a swift swallow.  
The gruff voice, Maggie’s last partner, appeared behind her and cleared his throat. Alex thought better of punching him, considering the glass already wedged in her knuckles. Her heart was broken. It was one of her worst days.  
“She always thought you two would reconcile and laugh about these days. She wanted to hear about your life, your wife, and kids. She kept up. You should know,” the man who was in his mid-30s with a spare tire around his waist. “You were not one of her troubles, but a ghost from her best days. She was happy that you were happy, had changed your last name and all that.”  
Alex’s anger rolled from her shoulders to her hips and she turned intent to beat this man. But on this day, Maggie’s funeral, she lost all spirit for a fight.  
Deflated, she raised her head with its auburn hair longer than when she was with Maggie and met his eyes.   
“How do you know so much?” Alex asked the man, Chris Brett.  
Letting his smile settle across his roughed face, Chris rubbed his beard and simply stated, “Maggie never stopped talking about you. Ever.”   
“She loved you until her dying day Alex. She never let go of you and your life. Granted, she had her own life here and women who never got close to breaking her. But she lived after you. She had a chance to put down her roots here, but she chose to hold to the attitude that she was only making the best until she could reconnect with you, here or there in the afterlife. Your breakup never really broke her like you thought.”  
Alex shattered. She had never considered that Maggie held on this long and through all the changes in Alex’s life. She just had never thought Maggie hadn’t stopped loving her after all they had been through.  
The next four hours were pure unadulterated torture in which Alex prayed for anything to distract her. She had thought their breakup was the worst day of her life, but the knowledge that Maggie had held on to any scrap of hope was anguish.  
The service was over and beautiful. Alex was relieved.   
She followed the casket to the car and then to the cemetery. She remembered every detail. She tossed dirt on the top of the vault as it was lowered into the ground. She hugged the appropriate people and agreed to keep in touch. For Maggie.  
But once she was on the plane and back in National City. She called Kara and ran from it all.  
She didn’t go immediately home where her wife and children waited. She drowns her sorrows. On her terms.  
It was a loaded gun that made her run because she could feel how she missed Maggie. But she was dedicated and she held onto her family. She was a better woman for them. But she never stopped wondering about Maggie. And Maggie never stopped her pursuit of what twists and turns Alex’s life took.   
They never said goodbye.


End file.
